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What do Christian Parents of Homosexual children do? Created on 2 January 2018

As is the case with the majority of articles on this website, this article is intended for professing Christians only.

PREFACE and INTRODUCTION

I have three children. It is possible that one or even all three of them may come to pursue same sex relationships one day. I hope that never happens, but it may. So what do parents do in such a situation? Some of my friends have children or family members who are in ‘same sex relationships’ or are ‘gay’. Some are more open about it than others. Without exception these friends of mine love their children or family members and have continued to support them despite their sexual preferences.

My current Federal member of Parliament is a “practicing Catholic”. He suddenly decided to support ‘Same Sex Marriage’ in the Australian parliament after he learned that his daughter is ‘gay’. I am not condemning him for his decision - that is not my prerogative.

So what do parents do in such a situation? The answer depends on whether or not the parents are professing Christians? If they are, then the Bible is quite clear about the godliness of homosexuality and homosexual relationships. Yes, I understand all the arguments which condone homosexual relationships, or at least suggest that a Christian parent should 'just let it be'. But that is not what the Bible says. So, we will have a look what the Bible says on this matter. If they are not Christian, well then they are obviously not bound to what the Bible says - I cannot comment on what such parents should do except for them to love their children and to give them as much wisdom and support as they may need.

Because Christians and non-Christians do not pursue the same Godor god[1] , the fundamental question to this matter is ‘are you Christian, or not?

Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ;   not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,  with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men,  knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. (Ephesians 6:5-8). Is this you? TOP

ARE YOU REALLY CHRISTIAN?

I need to spend a little time on this question because it is highly relevant. You may presume that you already know the answer to this question, but I will urge you to read on please? The question is not there to offend but to provoke you to an honest consideration of where you stand? You may have 'said the sinner's prayer', 'accepted Jesus', 'confessed your faith', being accepted into the church, spent your life reading Bible, 'serve on the ministry team', be an elder and faithfully go to church every week. You may even be a preacher or some or other minister of faith. Still, these things do not define you as a Christian. TOP

Christian, or not? Here’s the difference:

Paul makes it very clear in Galatians 2 that Christians have an obligation to discern who are Christian and who are not. , and that only genuine Christians should teach other Christians - not the "false bretheren" which he points out. Should parents of homosexual children love their child, give them wisdom and support them as best they can? Yes! - of course! But what that love, wisdom and support looks like is different for the Christian parent than for the non-Christian parent.

Non-Christian

Christian

Was born with a sinful nature

Was born with a sinful nature

Was born to pursue his/her own will

Was born to pursue his/her own will

May or may not know about God the Father and Jesus Christ

Does indeed know about God the Father and Jesus Christ

May or may not believe that Jesus is a historical figure

Does indeed believe that Jesus is a historical figure

May or may not believe that Jesus is the Son of God

Does indeed believe that Jesus is the Son of God

May or may not believe that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended to heaven

Does indeed believe that Jesus rose from the dead and ascended to heaven

Has not forsaken his/her will for their life in return for the will of God for their life

Has indeed forsaken his/her will for their life in return for God’s will for their life

Cannot have received a re-generated spirit from the Holy Spirit

Has indeed received a re-generated spirit from the Holy Spirit

Cannot have been filled with the Holy Spirit himself

Has indeed been filled with the Holy Spirit himself

May or may not lead a moral life

May or may not live a moral life, but is constantly increasing in his/her measure of doing so

May or may not go to church

May or may not go to church

May or may not be a worship leader, elder or ordained minister of faith in the church

May or may not be a worship leader, elder or minister of faith in the church

May or may not know the Bible well

May or may not know the Bible well

Cannot be continually led daily by the Holy Spirit

Is growing in being led by the Holy Spirit

Is indifferent about wanting to know Jesus (the Word of God) better

Is thirsty in wanting to know Jesus (the Word of God) better

May or may not moved closer to a personal relationship with Jesus, but has not met Him personally during a distinct ‘interaction’ with Him.

Has no doubt about having had a personal encounter with Jesus.

 

 

Some belonging in the left-hand column (non-Christian), because they move within Christian circles, may consider themselves to be in the column on the right (Christian). But those who really are in the right-hand column (Christian) know without a doubt that they definitely are not in the column on the left (non-Christian).

As noted, the distinction between Christian and non-Christian is vitally important. A Christian is essentially someone who has:

1) encountered the person of Jesus Christ personally[2] , during which encounter he/she:

2) let go of their own will for their life in return for God's will for him/her[3] , and

3) pursues His way and His truth[4] .

What happens with such a person? Inasmuch as God breathed spirit into Adam's nostrels and he became a living soul [5] (note the difference between spirit and soul), such a person receives a new, unrebellious spirit [6] from the Holy Spirit. Jesus, Peter [7] and Paul each refer to this as being "born again" or "begotten again" or "born anew". Baptism usually follows this event as an outward sign of an inward renewal.

If this is not you, you have not been born again and you should not consider yourself as a Christian. You may be on your way to be born again - it may be a lengthy journey - but being born again is a once-off instant event. Only those who have indeed been born again can hear the Holy Spirit teach them[8].

Because Jesus' will is captured in the Bible, I suggest that the way you respond to the guidance of Scripture really should tell you where you are at – Christian or non-Christian?Whoever rejects Me and refuses to accept My teachings, has one who judges him; the very word that I spoke will judge and condemn him on the last day. (John 12:48) NOTE: In reading and understanding the Bible, it is better to err on the side of it's plain reading than to err on the side of a philosophical or theological reading. Read the Bible plainly - that is why it was written plainly.

Moreover, God seems to have a stricter judgment of those who were in the know than those who were not: “For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them.” (2 Peter 2:21). So, if you are indeed a Christian, God will have a higher expectation of you in a matter like this, not a lower expectation. TOP

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS OF A CHRISTIAN

We see that there are mainly four unique characteristics which the Christian holds and the non-Christian does not:

All four of the above characteristics will come into play when a Christian parents seeks to find a godly way in addressing their child ‘being gay’ or homosexual. TOP

FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES FOR CHRISTIAN PARENTS

Many parents, I believe, feel that they are stuck in a position where they need to either love their children or reject them. This is not accurate. But the notion that they should be accepting every life decision a child makes is also not correct. In fact, it may well be the opposite to doing what is good for them.

The foundational thing for Christian parents to do, therefore, is to love, support and guide their children in a way which God wants and not in a way which they may neccessarily choose to do so. To know how God wants us to do it, we need to hear what the Bible says first. There are mainly three categories in the interpretation of the Bible in this matter:

With the above in mind, let’s have a look at what Christian parents should never do. TOP

WHAT SHOULD CHRISTIAN PARENTS NEVER DO?

WHAT SHOULD CHRISTIAN PARENTS ALWAYS DO?

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Please consult the Bible and test what is written here. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom in this area. Keep that which is good and reject that which is not Scriptural. Should you come to a different understanding than I please let me know - perhaps I can learn from you.

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?

Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

And such were some of you.

But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."

(1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

 

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